A couple of weeks ago, I received a link to a TedTalk.  The title of it was “Frientimacy:  The Three Requirements of All Healthy Friendships.”  Given that the sender of the email is a lifelong friend who has been with me through every high, low and in-between stage of life, I knew that the video would be touching and meaningful.  I was not disappointed.

According to the presenter, Shasta Nelson, there are three key components to building a friendship:  Vulnerability, Consistency and Positivity.  When combined, these three factors create the foundation for meaningful, authentic and fulfilling friendships.  And it is these close relationships – those where we feel truly known and unconditionally loved- that add true value to our lives.

That got me thinking.  While this clearly applies to our friendships with others, it also applies to our relationship with God.  God’s greatest desire for us is to be in relationship with Him.  And how do we cultivate that sacred relationship?  By being vulnerable and consistent and positive.

Vulnerable: 

When we open our hearts and souls to God, we invite Him in.  We ask Him to work both in us and through us. 

The ironic thing is that God already knows what is on our minds and hearts.  He knows what keeps us up in the middle of the night.  He knows our biggest fears, hopes and dreams.  He knows who we are meant to be in this world.  He already knows it all.  Nothing we share with Him will come as a surprise.  Yet we are still required to be vulnerable because it allows us the opportunity to put a name to all of the insecurities, worries, doubts and fears that we carry around within us.  And then, in an act of pure love and grace, Jesus invites us to lay them down at His feet.

               “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Mathew 11: 28-29 (NIV)

Consistent: 

The more consistent we are in seeking God, the more we can know Him and invite Him into our hearts.   There are so many ways to connect with God that make it easy to be consistent in our relationship with Him.  Prayer and worship are two well-known ways to connect to God.  But we also connect when we are still and listen for His voice, when we give praise, when we serve others, when we spend time in His word.  The list of opportunities for connection goes on and on.

Whenever our hearts are turned to God, we are connecting.  And the more we turn our hearts towards Him, the more consistent we are in our relationship.

Positive: 

Praise and thanksgiving are two ways to bring positivity to any relationship including a relationship with God.  I’m sure you’ve all heard of gratitude journals.   You may even be keeping one now.  One thing that pleasantly surprised me about keeping a gratitude journal was that there was never a shortage of things to be grateful for.  Gratitude begets gratitude.  Leading with praise and thanksgiving turns our hearts, minds and souls to the giver of these blessings.

An article on psychologytoday.com from 8/9/2019, defined the deepest friendships as “Intimate Friends”. 

“Intimate friends are the most intensely connected. These are the friends that you let into the inner sanctum of your heart and mind, who you trust with the deepest secrets, and who you know will never let you down or betray your trust.” 

Isn’t that just what our relationship with God is? An intimate friendship where we can share our deepest thoughts without fear of judgement.  Where we are assured that we are both known and loved unconditionally.  Where there is no fear of disappointment or abandonment.  Where we can lay our heaviest burdens down and lift up our greatest joys.  Where we can simply be ourselves and know, without a doubt, that we are loved and valued beyond measure.  Who doesn’t need a friend like that?

Relationships, intimate friendships, require effort and intention.  When we consistently share our hearts and prayers of gratitude with God, we are blessed with His eternal, unshakeable, intimate relationship.