She sat there turning the phone over in her hand, glancing at it every ten seconds.  As the minutes ticked by, her stress and anxiety grew.  A negative result on this rapid COVID 19 test was the only thing standing between her and moving back onto campus…a campus that she, like so many other college students around the world, was unexpectedly forced to leave early in March.  And every day since then has been a question of when she could return.  Her life was on the other side of that test.  Her friends, her courses, her independence, her identity.  Getting back to school meant being able to resume life after being put on hold for six months.  And now, after all the waiting, multiple delays and disappointments, she was a thirty-minute test away from regaining some sense of “normalcy.”

The phone rang and her face dropped. 

Her COVID test was positive despite taking the recommended precautions and not exhibiting any symptoms.  She was crushed.  Once again, her joy was stolen by this virus that had already taken so much.    The losses brought on by COVID 19 had been piling up and this was the one that pushed her beyond her breaking point.  She was defeated.  She was hopeless.  She was resigned.  Something significant in her changed in that moment of loss.  With heavy hearts, we got in the car to head back home.

I have made the drive to and from school countless times. At the halfway point of this drive heading towards school, in the middle of nowhere, there is a billboard that says “Hell is Real!”  Despite the fact that it’s an ominous black billboard with stark white letters all in caps, we always laugh a bit when we drive by it.  Our car can be completely silent, but as soon as we come up to that spot, everyone in the car will say “Hell is Real!” at the same time.  It has become a marker of sorts.  Instead of saying we’re halfway there, we just say “Hell is Real!” and everyone knows that we’ll arrive in two hours.

Driving home was a different story though.  My daughter was deep in grief and anger while I was lost in my own thoughts and worries.  My heart hurt for her and there was not one single thing I could do or say to ease her pain.  So instead, I tried to silently pray.  I say “tried” because I quickly found that I didn’t have the words for prayer either.  So instead, I just drove straight ahead with my thoughts swirling around my mind. 

Before I even realized it, we were at the halfway point heading towards home; the same point where the “Hell is Real!” billboard stands.  However, the billboard carries a different message when seen from the opposite direction.  This time, I was greeted with the message “Jesus is Real!”

“Jesus is Real!”  This is what I so desperately needed to be reminded of in this very moment. And a billboard in central Indiana was delivering the message! 

“Jesus is Real!”  Those three words reminded me that yes, Jesus is Real, and that my faith and trust lie in Him rather than myself.  I was reminded that, even though this wasn’t our plan, He would use this situation for good and growth.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  

Jeremiah 29:  11-13 (NIV)

Like a loving and protective parent, God’s plans for us are always good. Always filled with purpose.  They may be difficult to comprehend in our limited view, but God sees the big picture…beginning, middle and end.  And He is working all things together for our good. 

COVID 19 has impacted all of our lives in so many ways.  It has brought with it so much loss.  And while He is not the cause of it, God will not waste these opportunities for growth.  These opportunities to mature us in faith and bring us closer to Him.

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UPDATE:  After three days of waiting, my daughter’s follow-up tests came back negative and she was cleared to move in to school.  She is now back where she is supposed to be at this point in her life.  Joy and hope are slowly resurfacing along with a heightened awareness that plans can change in an instant. 

My advice upon leaving her at school was to “be present.”  To fully enjoy each day that she is given on campus rather than being anxious about being sent home again.  And maybe that was one of the many lessons God was sending to all of us.  Be present.  Don’t let worries about tomorrow steal the joy you have today.  This is a lesson for us all.

Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. 

Matthew 6:34 (NIV)

Like many trying experiences, this one was full of lessons.  Lessons that I’m sure will be unfolding for days to come.  I may never fully comprehend why this transpired the way it did, but I do know that Jesus is real and He will use this situation according to his good, loving and grace-filled will. Of this, I am positive.

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Note:  Coronavirus has affected us all in varying ways-emotionally, physically, financially, socially, mentally, spiritually and more.  The cumulative effects of the changes and losses are weighing heavily on all of us.  Our individual experiences are unique, but we are all affected, all changed to some degree.  This story just happens to be the most recent way in which our lives were affected and how we were able to find comfort in faith.